You gotta laugh!!!!

Moving home is a big business. I am just making plans to up sticks and move to Great Yarmouth. The main reason is to be closer to my daughter who I miss hell of a lot and only see once a year

I have got to find somewhere to live and make all the usual plans, but I have heard something astonishing!! I have to risk the council saying that I cannot claim Housing benefit and Council Tax (I claim these cos our only income is benefits due to the wifes disability). I have to get their permission to move into their borough if I want to claim their benefits!

I hope this is not entirely correct and have despatched email to relevant department of council for clarification.

Wasn't it Tebbit that said get on yer bike?

This post is actually a past discussion of racism (and I suppose the principles apply to allsorts of isms and ists, and that i thought worthy of wider discussion.

ME: I think the americans (both black and white) are inherently racist."

COMMENT: Well, I am speechless ( almost ). I am American and find that you have decided to categorise a whole nation of people. Wouldn't that be considered racist?

ME: I didnt mean to offend abilene but as I dont know every individual american then it is impossible for me to quote specific percentages - however if I use the americans I have known and still know, and my observations of the people and nation, then yes I would say the vast majority of americans (and the brits) are racist!! And yes, I hadnt thought about it previously but I am racist towards americans - however this has only been brought about by the way the americans have presented themselves to me.

COMMENT: Well, you lost all credibilty in your discussion when you admit to being a racist.

ME: I guess thats the trouble with americans (and brits incidentally) - they are unused to people being honest, and hence arent themselves. Until we all face up to our weaknesses we are never gonna 'improve' as individuals!

Though I admit to having discovered I am racist toward certain peoples, that racism is not malicious - it maybe ignorance or it may be reality.

Let me give an example of what I mean: I consider myself intellectually superior to certain nations because when they experience a disaster, flood, tsunami, tornado, earthquake etc. they do not learn the lesson and say oh my house (of whatever type of construction) got swept away I must build a stronger one - they build one exactly the same and 3 years later it happens again!!

Now that is the thinking of an intellectually challenged person. That is the REALITY!!!! If that is racism then so be it - but I am not living in a PC fairy world for the sake of anyone!

Another example of a nations racism incidentally is where a President decides that he and his ideals are superior to another leader's so he invades and kills thousands of innocents women and children and men and occupy their country and imposes a 'superior' form of government over them AND DOES SO WITH THE FULL APPROVAL OF THE NATION AND POLITICANS!!

I sat down to write something meaningful, maybe even profound and earth shattering.

But it has gone!

Can I remember what it was? Can I heck as like!!

I dont know if its my age or my age my alzheimers - its bloody annoying tho!!

I went to check on the apricot crumble in the oven the other day - and opened the big saucepan draw instead - duh!!!!

I am in a really shit mood. I give up my career to care for my wife who has now driven me so mad I am probably sicker than she is. That means giving up £28,000 a year so that I can save the government about double that amount looking after her. And they pay me £46 a week for the privilege!!!

I have to take her to hospital every month or so, doctors every week, sometimes twice. She is not physcially handicapped so we dont get any help with mobility - but who the f*** has to pay for £400 for a new clutch on my peugeot 406? Muggings here thats who!

Its not enough to have to pay car tax, extra insurance, MOT's etc etc - I now have to pay for a new fucking clutch!!!!

I really am a mug. Soft in the head, thats my trouble.

I should really leave and reclaim my life, and my career, and make the government face up to THEIR responsibilities!!

But no - i love my missus, and I will care for her- and no doubt still be sitting here friggin whinging and moaning in 10 years!! If I survive that long.

Oh well about 8 weeks and I can get the clutch fixed!! I hate life.

How soon before we see the police investigation into the honours corruption either dropped or assigned to a new police officer that will delay the result for another 2 years or so? I predict 30 days!

According to Trevor Phillips the new gay commission commissioner, the christian church is not allowed to believe anything that the 'public' find offensive. Oh dear, that's the crucifixtion out the window then!!

With the cock-ups by the Home Office almost reaching point of orgasm, Reid has used a delay spray (do they work?) by announcing the splitting of the Home Office into two sections. Hopefully each section will move to new offices and forget to tell Reid where they have gone. Watch for more gaffs and scandals coming soon!!

Jade Goody's performance for the News of the World was not convinging to me, she is a lousy actress too!! She is desperate to save her career but will Joe Public fall for her sob story? Well they voted in the muppets 3 times so maybe!

The racism row rolls on so I thought I would add my twopenny worth for today.

When the story first broke Gordon Brown was in India and commented that the racism expressed was not typical of the british people. Bollocks!!
The constant bickering between England and Scotland, whether it be over government, sport, oil or anything, is racist!
This bloke hopes to replace the most deceitful and authoritarian PM we have ever had - he puts Maggie Thatcher in the shade - but what planet is he on?

Jade Goody's mother said that Jade could not be racist because she is of mixed race herself! That sounds pretty typical of the average understanding of the populace. Mention 'racism' and everybody is full of denial - we have grown up to believe it is a terrible thing, and so it is. BUT!!!!! if you break down the understanding of the word, shock horror, we discover we are ALL racist! For instance, have you ever said "Bloody Americans", or used the term "third world", or told an Irish joke? These are all racist expressions.
OK - I was shocked when I thought about this yesterday, I had to face up to the truth - I am racist. Not because of the colour of skin, my attitudes are racist toward some 'white' nations (like the americans), but because I believe I am superior intellectually, or culturally to some others. It is a horrible reality - but I believe it is true of us all.

A third story in the news ( http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/6281487.stm ) indicates why we have still have these awful attitudes.
Some conservative moron up in Bradford describes a man with a limp as a reptile and cripple! The long and short of it is the offender was told "his language was unacceptable, inappropriate language and told never to use such language again".

The language will be used again, people will just try to make sure they never get caught. The problem is that nobody has attempted to deal with why the language is wrong. The attitudes have not been dealt with, just the expression of the attitudes.

Which is similar to what I have always believed - our prisons are full of people who have all committed the same crime - they got caught.

Dictionary definition of racism:

The belief that some races are inherently superior (physically, intellectually, or culturally) to others and therefore have a right to dominate them. In the United States, racism, particularly by whites against blacks, has created profound racial tension and conflict in virtually all aspects of American society. Until the breakthroughs achieved by the civil rights movement in the 1950s and 1960s, white domination over blacks was institutionalized and supported in all branches and levels of government, by denying blacks their civil rights and opportunities to participate in political, economic, and social communities.

I think that we can safely accuse Blair (supporters and supporting cronies) and Bush (supporters and supporting cronies) are racists !   They considered themselves culturally superior to Sadaam Hussein and the people of Iraq (and perhaps we should also consider their attitudes to other Arab nations) belittleing and denigrating the Iraqi system of government which was a cultural feature of the Middle East (our evidence of this is clear - there are no Arab democracies to speak of that have not been established by the americans or other outsiders.

If we are being honest with ourselves, if not with others, I think it is true to say we are ALL racist to some degree!

As soon as we say that someone is wrong in their perspective then we are making ourselves superior - that makes us ists of some description depending upon the subject!!!!

American Psychological Association (APA):
racism. (n.d.). The American Heritage® New Dictionary of Cultural Literacy, Third Edition. Retrieved January 19, 2007, from Dictionary.com website: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/racism

Chicago Manual Style (CMS):
racism. Dictionary.com. The American Heritage® New Dictionary of Cultural Literacy, Third Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2005. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/racism (accessed: January 19, 2007).

Here in Hedonism Heaven, our tiny village in the glorious countryside of Devon, we have been taking on board all that the government and tree huggers have been saying about saving energy, reducing our carbon footprint, and saving fuel. Todays report highlights how this has resulted in a changed society that all those campaigners can be proud of.

We managed to reduce our petrol/diesel/fuel oil consumption by 83%. We all got rid of our cars, vans, tractors and oil fired central heating boilers. One result of this is the local bus company have had to lay on 50 extra buses a day to ensure that those of us left with job can get to them.

There have been several knock on effects to our efforts. The oil refinery company has closed losing 12 jobs and leaving 3 large petrol stations empty for re-development.
The 3 local central heating engineers, 5 car mechanics and three car showrooms have closed and the people concerned have signed on the dole.

In the rest of the county petrol has increased from 95.9p per litre (was less than 5p when i was a kid) to £3.269 to account for their lost sales in our area.

After this first twelve month period we have had an average of a death a day due to hypothermia and disease from a lack of hot water.

More news from Hedonism Heaven soon

Well, we got the asbo, the super duper potentially violent, now we got the serious crimes orders for those suspected of being involved in serious crimes. No proof or evidence required, just a suspicion, again using the civil courts so they dont have to prove it!! What planet is this government on? I also cant believe the people of this country are so silent on these matters.

Read all about it here : http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/6269581.stm

The Beef Offal, Lambs Liver, Ox Calf & Kidney Society, based in Hedonism Heaven in the beautiful countryside of Devon, have launched a campaign to save the needless suffering and slaughter of millions of innocent plants each and every year.

Speaking recently on Gardeners question time Mr Bri. Sket questioned the sanity and selfishness of those who encourage the slaughter by eating the plants, some before they had even reached maturity.

Apparently the killing of these plants is to satisfy 'trendy but daft' fads amongst tree huggers and others to look good and impress their friends whilst suffering from a form of anorexia known as "scaredofmeatia".

The method of killing is dependant upon what sort of plant is being 'sacrificed' but many (such as pea pods and runner beans are torn from their parents whilst feeding, thrown harshly into buckets, knifed and thrust into pots of boiling water as per traditional missionary eating recipes.

Other plants are torn from the warmth and security of the ground, heads chopped violently off with a sharp machette, (there is no right to appeal) and thrust into sacks to be transported to the sheds where they are suffocated in plastic containers and then shipped likes slaves to be sold in the local market places around the country.

"This has to stop" said Bri. Sket. "It is unnecessary and the cause of the slaughter, men and women weak in the head and brain department through lack iof real protein and meat fibre in their diet, needs to be addressed". "Save the Veggies"!!

Here in Hedonism Heaven, our tiny village in the glorious countryside of Devon, we have been taking on board all that the government and tree huggers have been saying about saving electricity and energy and reducing our carbon footprint. This has resulted in a changed society that all those campaigners can be proud of.

We managed to reduce our eleccy consumption by 83%. We all got rid of our TV's, DVD and video machines, in fact most electrical luxuries including electric cookers.

There have been several knock on effects to our efforts. The electrical company has laid of 13 of its 15 local engineers as we have no need of them. The local electrical stores have closed losing 12 jobs and leaving 2 large retail spaces empty for new enterprises.
The 3 local supermarkets have closed because we are not cooking these days except in a pot over the wood burning stove. Unfortunately one little copse has already been chopped down for wood for the new stoves.

The local eleccy company has increased its prices by 50% because consumption has dropped but its chairman needs to be kept in the style to which he has become accustomed.

After this first twelve month period we have had an average of a new birth in each household.

Lastly in order to reduce our personal footprints we all walk about on baked beans tins which we step on and pull tight with a length of string so they effectively become our feet. Baked beans because they replace the necessary hot air needed to keep warm in our homes!!

More news from Hedonsim Heaven soon

Cant stop laughing here - i just read a blog entry, NOT by a friend I hasten to add, and the writer took 1000 words to say nothing. It wasnt bollocks, it was sofism. A lot of hot air that says nothing. The best part of it was an email he quoted (not entirely sure why he quoted it tho)!!

This is a marvellous example of charismatic/pentecostal christians - like weak beer - full of froth and no substance!!

I wont embarrass the blogger by naming him but to view the entry just view the 'christian' tagged blogs!!

Have a good day

Our crazy politicians have now decided that they will issue a new super duper ASBO for potentially violent offenders (well that is 60 million people in the UK). These asbo's will be issued before the person has been violent and the offender will respond by saying, "Oh dear I have a super duper violent asbo against me I had better make sure no one hits my baseball bat with their head!!

In a frightening twist the councils or police or whoever will obtain these super duper asbo's will be able to go to a civil court to get one (BOGOFF as an opening offer?) where the burden proof is considerably less than in a criminal court! No proof is needed however; how can you prove either potentrial or intention? And an interview I heard on BBC did speak of potential!!

If I am not mistaken the next step after authoritarianism is fascism! My fear is that we have reached that adjective!!

Well let me state here and now that if ever I meet Tony Blair personally in a dark alley I will kick his arse and stomp on his head. Am now waiting for my super duper asbo (in black black please).

I think you can safely ignore this stupid story - it is even too bizarre for Blair and his cronies. Lets look for the story in the news that they are trying to hide!!

However, if the story is nonsense, they have involved Lord Faulkner, which means the buried story must be really bad!!

Did you know that Christians were largely behind the abolition of slavery in the UK?

Did you know that Christians re-introduced slavery in the UK about 45 years ago?

Oh yes indeedy.

There are hotels, leisure centres, bookshops, and all sorts of businesses, owned and run by 'christians' that are called ministries.

(I would remind you dear reader that I know about these things having once been involved in church leadership.)

Anyway these 'ministries' dupe enthusiastic, usually young, new converts mainly, into believing this their opportunity to serve God full time. They take the 'fire' that the Holy Spirit puts in their belly and exploit it for their own ends.

They dont usually pay wages, in fact sometimes the worker have to pay for the privilege of working in such a 'ministry' and raise financial support for their living expenses from their own church!!

Some 'ministries' pay nominal pocket money.

Interestingly the heads of these businesses - ooops sorry, 'ministries' - drive around in rolls royces, top of the range mercs and audi's etc etc and have palatial homes in exclusive areas around Surrey and the home counties.

If you go to the Christian Resources Exhibition, held at Sandown Racecourse at Esher each year, and go to the exhibitors parking area, you would be amazed to see what cars are there, and how many chauffeurs are hanging around!!

It was attending this exhibition in my capacity as an editor and publisher of a christian magazine that opened my eyes to the hypocrisy within the 'church' and made me start to question 'stuff' about 10 or 12 years ago.

There is a chain of christian bookshops that houses its workers above or near the shop in sparsely decorated and furnished rooms and gives them about £10 a week pocket money. The company no doubt makes huge profits and it would be interesting to see the home of the MD..

Why am I telling you this? for several reasons:
1... If you get fired up about God you have been warned so you dont fall for their nonsense
2... To point out that, despite these hypocrites, God WILL have the final word
3... Evil men posing as christians may make the church look bad - but God remains the same, yesterday today and forever
4... Dont judge a christian by the size of cross he wears - in my experience the bigger the cross the bigger the hypocrite!!

With the hand on the otherf opot, boot on the other hand, whatever it is, you know what I mean: There is also another side, like the christian owned engineering company who was sent into bankruptcy because its workers used 'prayer' breaks as an excuse for laziness. Every hour or so they felt the need to stop to pray!!!!

If you are wondering why I have not been writing quite so much recently it is because I have been very busy. I was given a task a week or so ago to convert someones video collection of some 150 or so videos to DVD.
Quite interesting work especially as I get an opportunity to watch some films I have never seen before and get a little reward for doing so. D

(I also convert vinyl to CD and so get to listen to a lot of music I may have missed too )

Anyways, there turned out to be a little bonus in the job. Some of the vids had 3 or 4 films on. What did my friend want me to do? I could put the entire tape on and dvd, the quality would be a bit poorer, or I could put the films on dvd individually, but that would cost £3 per dvd more D

Do them individually he said, I quickly looked through the home recorded tapes, that will be about an extra 50 dvd's - yay we can go on holiday this year, if mrs is well enough.

Anyways, back to work cya later

Well it seems like David Beckham is no longer the golden boy of football. Not that I want to be unkind, but, I really am so pleased!! I have a dislike of people who are legends in their own eyes. I dont really have hero's in life (and football is NOT life); I do have people that I respect enormously, Norman Wisdom, Winston Churchill, Mo Mowlem, Elvis Presley as an entertainer, my grandad, and a few others.

I have to admit Beckham was a good footballer, nay a great footballer, but then Victoria got her hands on him and it was downhill all the way .

He became a ballet dancing publicity seeking money making machine, and his football went to pot.
He chose a skeleton in skin bag for a wife who controlled every aspect of his life.
So what for him now?

Well, he publicly stated that he would never play football for any English team except Manchester United, and they dont want him! He is a 'has been' in Europe, but I do hear some Amercian team may be interested in him. Thats OK for me, across the other side of the world, not sure if he could cope with their 'real men' though. Last time I spoke an american about him she said, "David who?"

Well, if he cant get any work at least he wont have to sign on the dole, he has done very well for himself financially. I think he had better keep Vic by his side though, I am not at all sure he has got what it takes to hold onto all that dosh himself.

Blair has made all sorts of declarations regarding MI5 and Northern Ireland. Is he stoooopid or what? He knows that no one on planet earth believes a word he says - methinks he has just let the latest plans and plots out the bag!!

If you havent read my other post from this morning 'redundant' then do so now cos otherwise this post will make no sense at all!!

Glad to see that Tony Blair has ganged (!?!) up on me too to enforce my redundancy!!

He wants to destroy the world and has admitted it!!!
( http://www.itn.co.uk/news/britain_58a59bc3612ef34f5c6b46895718898d.html )

I am really down I have been made redundant from my job of denigrating and ridiculing politicians of all hues and perversions. Who has made me redundant. My very victims!! I am sure it is a concerted effort from Westminster to undermine the only laughs I get in life - those from their stupidity.
They now openly admit and even revel in their ineptness - what can a man do?

Mike Reid, no sorry the other comedian, John Reid, Home Secretary (wonder why he cant a pull s secretary - even Blunkett managed that) openly admits his department is inept and not fit for purpose by admitting that hundreds, maybe even thousands, of convicted criminals from overseas are not known to our authoritiess and are now working with children (god help em - the pervs that is -I wouldnt want to work with our kids they would probably corrupt me) and other vulnerable people. Bless him - he is gonna have yet another inquiry and pass the buck again.

The second of thousands of possible examples comes from Devon County Council; those ingnorant and illiterate yokels at Exeter, who are only 5 years late with this story and are dumb enough to fall for a story from the April fool stories, not just 5 years late but in January! They have been complaining about light pollution and they are going to turn street lighting down.
A romantic candlelit stroll through Exeter City Centre? I dont think so - have you seen it lately?

So I am redundant!

NEWS ALERT!!!!

George Bush
The president will deliver the long-awaited speech to the nation Wednesday evening, announcing the results of his two-month search for a new way forward in Iraq.
http://voanews.com/english/2007-01-08-voa33.cfm

NEWS ALERT!!!!

New York probes 'gas-like odour'
Manhattan was shrouded in low cloud on a misty winter's day
Authorities in New York are attempting to identify a persistent gas smell across a large part of lower Manhattan.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/6241927.stm

Sounds like the gas smell was methane - the bullshit has started!!

Have you seen those adverts aimed at benefits thieves? It always ends with the words "If you get caught you may have have to face an interview under caution and may get a criminal record"

Notice first the order in which they appear. No ones gives a monkeys about the criminal record but no not the interview under caution please, anything but the interview under caution. This government is not only morally corrupt they are also seriously challenged in the reality and getting out more areas!!

....that the Americans banned David Lean's Oliver Twist (1948 film), based on Charles Dickens's famous novel? It was banned for 3 years because of alleged anti-Semitism in depicting master criminal Fagin, played by our very own Sir Alec Guinness.
I always knew that they didnt know about good character acting but... doh!!

And talking of Amercians not recognising good theatrical work; Laurence Olivier's Hamlet was the first, and to date, the only film version of a Shakespeare play to win Academy Awards for Best Picture and Best Actor. It earned Olivier his only Best Actor Oscar, though it is true he received an honorary one too.

Why do I come out with this now? Because The Simpsons and Friends are still running and the contrast in artistic talent between Dickens/Sir Alec/Olivier and Friends/Simpsons is so striking and yet the latter have walked away with numerous awards! What does this tell us?