I found myself in Asda. Now I admit it is a risky business, but I took that risk and had lunch there. I must admit the food was as lot tastier than the last time I took such a risk - would have been better if they had cooked it tho. No seriously, the only problem was that it was stone cold!!

However, whilst I was sitting there sucking on a cold chip, and bear in mind dear reader that this was at 1 o'clock with queues stretching back to the digital photos machines (out of order), cameras, ipods and sat nav display, a woman was in the queue with three children. 2 of the little shits darlings were about 3 years old and the other was about 11.
Now imagine the scene, a queue half a superstore long, she must have queued at least 20 minutes and what does she do when she gets to the servery? She asks the little bastards sweethearts what they would like for dinner!!!!!

For those that have had children you can imagine the ensuing chaos. For those that havent consider yourselves very blessed and keep your legs crossed!!

She asked them what they wanted!!!!!! 15 minutes later she manages to find a table - thats right - she hadnt even sent the lad ahead to scout out a free table!!!! She was either a very inexperienced babysitter or she had blancmange for brains!!

Anyway, back to the story, So I get fed up after ten minutes of her asking the kids what they want and them being undecided and probably not really wanting anything (cos they have had Asda food before) and I go up to her. "Listen missus" I say "you dont ask kids what they want when the queue is half a superstore long, you tell them, you should know their likes and dislikes and you just order them what they are gonna have. The only choice they have is take it or leave it". I went on, "you should also have decided these things as soon as the menu was in sight. Now, give em a clip round the ear tell em to go and sit down on just one table and order their fiffin food." I got a round of applause from the rest of the queue and the diners and they had a quick whip round for me.

Eventually peace reigned. Talk about wooly minded liberals tho!!

By the way the last big paragraph is total bollocks but it is what I felt like doing and only my steak and mushroom pie (without any mushroom) held me back.